Why are We Sexing Up our Children?

Every year we go shopping for clothes to wear for Resurrection Sunday, also known as Easter:)

I mean shopping, at a real life, brick and mortar, department store.

It’s kind of a big deal for our daughter.

Usually, we just wait on someone we know to pass us a whole bag full of clothes someone at their house has outgrown.  But Easter Sunday is different.

We go buy something.

 We pay retail.

We get ripped off.

We try to semi coordinate, and it’s fun for the girls in the house.

(The boys of course, don’t care much. Color coordinated is not even in their vocabularies.)

Every year though there is a running theme in our shopping trips:

DISAPPOINTMENT.

You see our daughter is not quite 12 years old yet. That means she is 11.

Eleven years old!

Now , if you have a daughter  who is not a little girl (and not quite a big girl yet)  you probably understand the challenge of choosing age appropriate (and stylish clothes) that you both feel good about.

Actually, if you have a daughter at all, you understand this dilemma.

This was not the first time I encountered this culture shock while shopping in the “girl's” section. I started noticing the difference about 4 years ago, when we had to move out of the little girls section to the in-between-girl's section (that's what I call it).

It’s always the same.

"This is too short."

“This is too tight.”

“This is too low.”

She has even suggested sewing things at home to make them more appropriate.

Can you imagine?

First you pay overpriced, retail prices, AND then have to take it home and alter it to make it wearable.

I don’t think so!

This always sends my mind whirling! What is going on with these stores; with our culture?

The department stores are only exhibiting symptoms of the disease our society is infested with.

Sexing up the people, but especially our children!

We have all witnessed this  firsthand.   A little girl (or not so little girl) at the park running around with sweats on that read “juicy” on the bottom, or “dancer” or “cheer” or some other message.

Photo Credit:  blogging with class

Whatever they say, the end result is the same. It is drawing the attention of every man, woman, and child at the place.

Our brains see words, they read them.

You are doing it right now.

The written word is one of our main forms of communication.

WHY IN THE WORLD are we attracting attention to the rear ends of our children?

 What good can come possibly come of this?!

It does not stop there, just like it did not begin there.

Shorts so short the pockets hang out, and they cost more! Ugh…

How about underwear for tweens and teens that read, “Flirt”,  “Fun”,  or “Party"?

 I have passed EVERY one of these  while shopping with my daughter.

It is beyond me how we became so numb to what is happening to our children!

What message are we giving our girls by buying them underwear (of all things!) with these words printed on them?

To say this is a BAD idea, is a drastic understatement!

Do you know why stores are selling this overpriced

They are making money.

It is profitable.

That’s how commerce works.

They sell what we buy!

When we buy these things for our girls it’s the equivalent of shooting them an email that says:

“Hey, we’re okay with you stripping the innocence of our daughters. Please, keep putting out clothing that does not cover what needs covering, draws attention to all the WRONG places, AND we’ll keep buying it!”

It is not only our girls who are being targeted. Our boys, after all, live in the same world as the girls.

It is a struggle (to say the least) for teenage boys/young men to control their thought lives.

 Hormones are a real thing.

 I can see how it is nearly impossible for boys not to view girls in a sexual way from an early age.   Boys are already trying to swim the waters of puberty and adolescence, and everywhere they turn is SEX.   It’s all over the television and computer screens. 

 TV shows and the internet are full of pornography.

It is difficult to have exact data on porn because so much of it is digital; free online. There was an estimation in 2012 that 8 billion dollars a year is being generated by the porn industry in the United States alone.  This also happens to be the same amount being spent on bottled water in the U.S., 8 billion dollars.

Interesting, huh?

We need food, water, and....umm...porn?!

We have Victoria’s Secret models on prime time television, Super bowl halftime shows with so little clothing that body parts are popping out (that’s the last Super bowl halftime show I’ve seen).

16 and Pregnant.

Teen Mom.

It goes on and on.

WHY?!

Why do we allow this?

Why are we acting like it doesn’t matter what we watch or wear?

It obviously matters!

We have some serious sex issues in our society!

There are websites dedicated to helping you know if your neighbor is a sex offender. We are not living in the days of “I wonder what kind of pie I could bake for my new neighbor?”

No.  Now its like, “I wonder if I should Google my neighbor to see if they are a sex offender.”

This is not normal!

HERE  is one of those websites. 

If you want to be depressed, check it out.   I warn you, don’t be surprised to find a map lit up like a Christmas tree with known offenders in your neighborhood. 

You see what I’m getting at? 

You don’t send your daughter around with “juicy” on her bum when you know there are CONVICTED sex offenders all around you.

They are convicted; they obviously struggle with preying on children. There are A LOT of predators in this world.  They don’t need the added temptation of seeing young girls dressed this way.

We are always hearing about something damaging to us. We are alerted to the dangers of too much fat in our food, too much cholesterol, stay off the sugar you’ll get diabetes, get off the caffeine. They may as well label aspartame with skulls and cross bones !   (You know that stuff will kill you, right?)

WHAT do we hear about the dangers of sexualizing our children (and adults)?

NOTHING!

Instead,  we celebrate it.

We pay for it in the form of clothing.

We exploit it in the name of entertainment.

Remember that little box office hit, 50 Shades of Grey? It was one of the most pirated movies of ALL time! That wasn’t even DVD quality. It was a copy made by someone with a shaky camcorder at the movie theatre!

We are obsessed with sex, or more accurately, what the media has told us sex is.

Harmless?

Well, that seems to be a flawed theory.

Sex is very dangerous when it is taken out of the context of a monogamous, dare I even say it, marital relationship?

I don’t know about where you stand in your belief in God.  I will tell you plainly where I’m at.  I am sold out!  100% standing on the Word of God.  He gives us good advice in His Word, the Bible.

Even if you are not living your life by God’s standards, surely you must still acknowledge the many consequences that come of  sex outside of a faithful marriage.

A few not so fun facts:

In 2009 an estimated 8,300 young people (young people being people between the ages of 13 and 24) reported to the CDC that they had been diagnosed with HIV.

Nearly fifty percent of the 19 MILLION new STDs each year are among young people between the ages of 15 and 24.  

Chlamydia and gonorrhea cases are highest in Americans between 15 and 24.

Does talking about this stuff make you uncomfortable?

Me too!

Uncomfortable, sad, nervous for my children (they have to marry someone), angry…..

The CDC also reports that in 2013 there were 273,105 births to teens between the ages of 15 and 19 years old, and those rates are down.

I wonder how many teen pregnancies are ending in abortion, chemically and surgically.

An estimated total of 35% of pregnant teens have an abortion. Those are the ones that are actually reported. Abortion not only KILLS a child, it damages these young mothers for the rest of their lives. Yes, I called them mothers. They are mothers, their babies just happen to be dead (and they have to live with the knowledge that they helped kill them for the rest of their lives.)

Post abortion statistics are NOT pretty. 

Abortion doesn’t only end one life, it forever changes another. 

I have stood outside an abortion "clinic” on a day the “doctor” was “terminating” pregnancies. The parking lot became so full at one point that the girls had to park on the street and walk in.

Does THIS indicate we may have a sex problem?

But after all,  we do live in the land of “Don’t be so judgmental.”  I can already hear the "Don't judge me!" comments.

We will forewarn people that McDonald’s French fries have 17 ingredients in them and the dangers of aspartame, BUT we mustn't talk of things that are killing us mentally, emotionally, and spiritually; that would be too judgmental.

If we are going to warn people of the dangers of diabetes , (to the point that we ban sugary drinks in our public schools) should we not also warn them of the dangers of sexing up our society, our children,  and teens?

What does it say about us as a society, that we celebrate and profit off of these behaviors?  Behaviors that are proven to rob people, especially young people, of their innocence, health, and happiness.

This is not love.

If you are standing on a train track with a train rushing at you, but I don’t tell you to step off the track, do I love you?

                                            OR

Am I judging you for standing on the track in the first place?

We have become so afraid of offending anyone that we will not speak truth.

I don’t know about you, but I will NOT be buying any clothes for my girl that tote words on the seat of the pants; nor will her underclothing have inappropriate and ridiculous messages written on them.

We will NOT be watching the soft porn that is everywhere on the TV screen for many of the same reasons we don’t drink out of our toilet.

It is dirty and will make you ill.

Whew!

I feel (a bit) better getting that out.

Let’s protect our children.  Let's protect their bodies, and their minds. 

Once it’s in there, you don’t get to take it out.  I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “Garbage in, garbage out.”  It is so applicable.

As for us, we better stick with shopping at the thrift stores ;)

I appreciate you taking the time to read The Modern Mayflower Blog.  We are all living this life together.  Please pass my words along, if you feel they are worth sharing.

I'd love for you to stick around.  If you'd like to, please "subscribe" to follow along via email!

Thanks for reading,

Susan

This is Worthy, This is Living in the Spirit…

There’s a phrase that has  been ping-ponging around in my mind.

Living in the Spirit.

What does it mean to live in the Spirit of God?

What does that look like in my life, and the lives of those around me?

Who do I know who is living in the Spirit?

This is going to look the same, and  different, for each person. I realize same and different are contradictory.

This is my thought. People all look basically the same, right?  I mean anatomically. We all have certain common characteristics: 2 eyes, ears, one nose, etc. At first glance it seems we are almost all similarities. If you look closely (and especially when you really get to know someone) there are definite (and easily identified) differences.

All of my children strongly resemble one another, and also us—BUT if you look at them more closely, out of 4 children, we have 3 different eye colors-brown, green & blue.

If you have ever known a set of twins, at first it is very difficult to tell them apart. I believe living the Spirit is like this. It is going to look the same, but also different.

God tells us that you will know whether people are living in the Spirit by the fruit they bear.

Matthew 7:16 reads, by their fruit you will recognize them.

In Galatians Chapter 5 we read, but the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness & self-control.

So if we are living in the Spirit, there are going to be definite similarities in the way our lives work, and look to those around us. We should all be bearing these fruits of the spirit, but the way these traits are carried out in our own lives are going to look the same, but also different.

For some people, most people, the majority of this is going to take place in their own homes.

The mama with a newborn, nursing every 20 minutes, running on very little sleep; she has so many demands on her time and energy.  There are other children still heavily relying on her to meet their physical and emotional needs, all the while gently, but consistently, steering them all toward Christ. This is worthy! This is what living in the Spirit looks like for her.

The one whose life has been gripped with grief, and loss of loved ones too soon, and too many times; yet she smiles through the tears. She clothes herself in the Word. She loves with her whole heart those she has left, and longs for the time she will be reunited with those who have gone ahead. She turns her grief into a testimony of God’s goodness, mercy and love. She uses her life’s hurts to comfort others suffering through the same thing. This is worthy. This is what living in the Spirit looks like for her.

The mama whose children are now taller than her (and mostly grown),  they are trying to forge their own life story in this world. She is that reassuring voice that keeps bringing them back to the plan God has for them. She has gone from their authority, to their friend, and adviser. She is still holding hands , that aren’t so small now, but still need held from time to time, just the same as when they were. This is worthy! This is living in the Spirit.

The one whose children have all grown up and moved out, but she doesn’t throw up her hands and call it quits. She is a Titus 2 woman. She is there with meals for that mama with the newborn. She is there to care for other people’s children when they need a bit of help. She is available to serve where she sees she can meet a need. She will remind you that life with young children can be intense and exhausting, but so worth the living. She will help you get your perspective back in order. If you need her, she will come, because she loves the Lord and His people. This is worthy, this is what living in the Spirit looks like for her.

The mom who is stretched so thin already , but spends her nights at her dying grandfather’s bedside. She will sing him hymns, pray with him, for him,  and over him. She pleads with him to accept Christ, while there is still time. She smiles even though the tears will not stop flowing. She loves  this scared man until his last breath. This is worthy, this is living in the Spirit!

The woman who stands outside the darkest of places, it calls itself a clinic.  She stands (with her children), holding signs, and praying for the girls going in.  She pleads, in love , with those girls to choose life for their little one. She pleads  with them to choose real life for themselves, in Christ! She teaches  her children that the church MUST GO, to these dark places. She teaches her children what faith and love looks like in word, AND action. She doesn’t go because she wants to, she goes because she has to! This is worthy; this is what living in the Spirit looks like for her.

She will take a meal to an elderly couple of the church, and stay to linger a while.  She will be patient with their slow speech, and even slower movements, because she knows that there is much to be gleaned in the presence of the slow and steady.  She is living in the spirit, and this too, is most worthy!

These are just a few of the women I get to call “friend”.

My point is this: If we are living in the Spirit then we are going to bear the fruits of His Spirit, but that doesn’t mean it’s all going to be the same variety.

It’s going to look the same, but the situations will look different.

I want my story to be that of one who is living in the Spirit, and I know you all do too.

The things that seem so small and unimportant, are in fact, the game changers!

Do what YOU can, where You’re  at!

Love the people that cross your path.

Don’t underestimate the difference your contribution can and does make!

Get in His Word!

Know Him so well that you just can’t stop trying to be more like Him AND don’t stop there!

Tell EVERYONE who will listen that Christ is the way, the truth, and the life. This is worthy; this is living in the Spirit!!

Romans 8:13

For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.

Thank you so much for stopping by The Modern Mayflower Blog.  This is the NEW site for The Modern Mayflower Blog so be sure to SUSBSCRIBE VIA EMAIL to follow along!

I will keep the previous site up for a bit until everyone gets a chance to transfer over to the new page.

Sharing is Caring!  Please pass the Modern Mayflower Blog posts along to your social media friends:)
See you soon,
Susan

When Did We Stop Liking Children?

When did we stop liking children? Seriously? Can anyone put their finger on it?

When did our nation adopt this perfect boy-girl, 1.9, family dogma?

I have 4 children.

That’s it.

Four.

We aren’t exactly running an orphanage. In a lot of circles having only four children would be considered a small family.

If you have more than 2 children you have probably had someone say one, or all, of these things to you (especially at the grocery store):

“Are those ALL your kids?”

Now, if I had a dollar every time I have heard this, we could pay off our house! Really.

I like to answer this seemingly obvious question in different ways (depending on my mood that day).

Usually I say, “Well, they do seem to be following me around calling me “Mom.” 

But sometimes I like to say, “Nope, I had to run to the store to buy these 377 items you see in my cart, and I thought I bet this would be whole lot easier with a bunch of random kids that aren’t mine.’

When we were expecting number two, people would always ask me “Is it a boy or a girl?” We already had one boy SO it just made perfect American sense that we should make #2 a girl, THEN we could call it quits.

Perfect.

Finito.

Right?

Everyone can have everything they want, our parent to child ratio will equate perfectly! (Obviously, I’m not buying it ;))

How about this one?

“Are you going to have any MORE?”

Let’s pretend for a second that is okay for complete strangers to assume they are entitled to any input on the number of children I, or anyone else has is okay.

Okay? Okay.

Not okay!!

This is RUDE. People with {what some may consider} a large family, find this comment offensive. My reply is always pretty consistent with this one.

“Only if we want to.”

That usually zips that line of conversation up pretty quickly. 

Now this one, in my humble opinion, is way over used.

“I just don’t know HOW you do it.”

Hmmmm. Is this a compliment? A question? A statement? You would think I would have a default script prepared for this one, but as of yet, I don’t think I’ve ever responded the same way twice.

How about this one? I know you poor expecting mamas have heard it more than you care to.

“You know what CAUSES that, right?”

I think (if there ever is a next time) I will say, with a straight face, “No, could YOU please explain what causes that?”

My personal favorite?

“How can you AFFORD all those kids?”

The short answer is, we can’t. We sacrifice. We wear second hand clothes. We pass on things that we don’t have the money for. We’d have to take out a second mortgage to go see the latest movie at the theatre, so we don’t go (not much of a sacrifice in my book). We try to be content. We make do with what we have, which by the way, is like 95% more than the rest of the world. We make it work!

Now, wait for it. It’s coming. It always does!

“What about COLLEGE?”

I have to admit this makes me smile. I realize education is important, I really do—BUT—I will not bow down to the altar of the education god we have come to worship in this country. This may be shocking and scandalous, but here it is. Not EVERYONE has to go to college. I said it. I mean it. College is not for everyone. I do have at least one child who plans to go to college. He knows that he must study hard now, test well later, dig for scholarships, and after all that, pay his own way. His dad and I cannot afford it. We love him more than our own lives, this he knows. That does not change because we cannot foot his college education. We will help him every step of the way, but in the end, his education is, and will be, his responsibility. He will have to work for it, just like any of our other children that want to pursue a college degree.

If you have several children you KNOW what I am talking about.

You KNOW what it’s like to walk into a public place with your little waddling duck parade trailing behind you.

You KNOW most of the people in the restaurant just secretly prayed your family wouldn’t be seated by them.

You have had your children counted as they filed in, like people work for the citizen’s census committee or something.

I get it.

We don’t see a lot of large families these days, but WHY? Have we asked ourselves why? Why do we cringe when the children walk in? Why do the moms on Facebook want to plow a path for the bus after their children have had a couple snow days?  How does this make our children feel?  Unwanted?  In the way?

Why do even elderly people, who used to adore little ones, now turn their noses up at the children? Why do people try to talk you out of having any more?

I have some theories on these WHYS. We have been served this ideology that children are to be taken care of by “experts.” We have been fed this thought that diapers can be changed, and noses can be wiped by anyone. Why would a capable and intelligent woman forfeit her potential to stay home and do the mundane, the ordinary, the grunt work? How can we as women be satisfied in being ONLY a wife and mom? I mean any woman can do that, right? That’s what we have daycares for.

You may be asking yourself, how are these things related? What does people not liking children have to do with whether or not you stay at home or have a career?

What I KNOW is this. Children require A LOT; a lot of care, a lot of life training, a lot of correction, a lot of compassion, A LOT of time. Obviously, a lot of children are falling through the cracks. They are not being held morally accountable.   They are being more influenced by their peers than their parents. They do not know how to behave properly. It has left a bad taste in the mouths of people. People expect my children to behave badly (and sometimes they do, because after all, they are children). They think they are going to wreck the place, be rude, rowdy, and a nuisance. I get it. I tell my own all the time, “Here’s a chance to make grown-ups like children again, don’t waste it. Be courteous and kind. Be engaged. Act like a civilized person.”

You may think I’m getting a little carried away here. Saying we don’t like children as a whole, sounds a bit harsh.

I’m not talking about meeting their material needs. Oh, as a society, we are all over that one. Most children have nicer clothes, shoes, and devices than full-time working adults. I’m talking about meeting their needs of morality. Teaching them right from wrong, and insisting they comply. Teaching them to respect themselves, and others. Teaching them how to behave in a grocery store and a restaurant so people will once again embrace children and large families.

We are so consumed and busy with stuff , it has blinded us. Work more, buy more.

I have always jokingly said, “Instead of having lots of money, we chose to have lots of children, and you can’t usually have both.”

I think people associate a large family with poverty, exhaustion, doing without. Absolutely, that is part of it, but it is not one dimensional!

We serve one another in love. We don’t have as many material things as a smaller family, and that’s okay. We have to put the needs,(and sometimes wants) of other people ahead of our own.

It is not all sacrifice though! There is joy, uncountable joy that comes with a large crew!

You are NOT hearing me say that everyone has to have a bunch of children because we did. What I am saying is, we have bought into this idea that large families are a burden to us all. They are not!

I have even heard people say it is “irresponsible” to have more than two children. WHAT?!

My response to that nonsense?

Is it easy having four children? OF COURSE NOT– HOW COULD IT BE?

Is it tiring? YES.

Is it expensive? ABSOLUTELY (Do you know how much food an almost 14 year old boy alone, eats? ;))

Is my home Pinterest perfect? HA!

Is it beautiful and fulfilling? WITHOUT A DOUBT.

The reality of a family photo shoot.

The next time you see some mama in the store with a passel of little people behind her in the middle of the day, take a moment to thank her for investing in the future. Thank her for sticking with it when we all know it is expensive, exhausting and underappreciated. Do not discourage her with meaningless questions and ridiculous assumptions.

Look for the good in the children, you will find it. Let’s all learn to love hanging out with our own people again!

Thanks for stopping by the Modern Mayflower.

Do you know some mama with a bunch of little ones that needs some encouragement? Please share the love!

Sharing is Caring!

Please BE SURE  official page and subscribe via email!!  Thanks  for reading!!

See you soon,

Susan

P.S.  There are big changes coming to The Modern Mayflower Blog site, please stick around 

Are You Stuck in February?

I’m sitting on my couch this morning and there are two dominant sounds reaching my ears;  the constant chatter of the birds outside, and the constant chatter of my little one playing on the floor. (He has complete conversations with himself, he’s cool like that)

The sun is shining in the picture window, the birds are singing, the furnace is NOT running.  Doesn’t that speak hope and renewal into your heart?  Things are coming alive right before our eyes and ears.  Everything that has been sleeping and trudging through the long winter is celebrating SPRING!

Isn’t perspective a crazy thing? The beginning of spring and this dandelion is so lovely! Before long we will be going to extreme Pinterest measures to void our yard, and the whole planet of dandelions.  Same dandelion, different perspective.

Now, I know it has officially been spring since March 20 ( I just googled it ;)), but this morning looks like spring andsmells like spring.  The grass is soft, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, it REALLY is going to be warm.  Today is the last day of March and I am reminded of something I wrote on the last day of February.

Everything changes, doesn’t it?  It’s so hard, sometimes, to remember that it will not always be the same.  The sun is going to shine again.  The birds are going to sing.  Life is going to be lighter.  Nothing is forever (even the things we wish could be).

                                                                Not Always February

You know what my favorite part of February is?

It’s short!!

February is a struggle for me, and I bet I’m not the only one.  The high today is 12 degrees!   12 degrees, but sunny, ha.

It starts to become difficult to recall the real, warming sunshine.  The kind that works its way through your whole body and makes things seem lighter and more hopeful.  Everything is a chore when it is cold and snow covered.  Everyday tasks wear on me; it’s easy to forget that spring is coming– BUT–I won’t forget.  Spring will come again!

Sometimes life can start to feel like it’s always going to be February.  You feel like your heart and spirit are trapped in a frozen tundra.  You can’t remember the last time the sun was shining, on the inside.

This life is full of icy seasons, for sure.

Everyone has walked through, is walking through or is going to walk through their own personal February in life.

There are things that make it hard to recall the sunny days.  Things happen that are completely out of our control—loved ones die, babies get cancer, mamas are in car wrecks, dads lose jobs that are providing for everyone.

It gets cold, not only outside, but in our hearts.  We start to feel like it’s always going to be a spiritual and emotional February.

It can be overwhelming.

There will be tears.

We live in these temporary, fragile bodies (and minds).  It is easy to forget that this is just the beginning for us, not the end.

This flesh is weak, and I will be glad when I don’t have to fight it anymore.  I am also glad that our God knows our struggles.  He did not leave us here without hope and instruction.

I’m guessing every person reading this owns the greatest resource available to us.  It is much more precious than gold, silver, copper or oil.

It is a supernatural resource.

It is the resource that created the resources.

Unfortunately, it is not being tapped into like it should be.  God’s Word!

We own different translations; study Bibles, Children’s Bibles, Teen Bibles, language comparison Bibles, but do we read them?  I mean really read them?  Drink it up until we are so full that it must spill out in our words, actions and lives.

John Quincy Adams in his wisdom and eloquence left us this:

“I speak as a man of the world to men of the world, and I say to you, Search the Scriptures!  The Bible is the book of all others, to be read at all ages, and in all conditions of human life; not to be read once or twice or thrice through, and then laid outside, but to be read in small portions by one or two chapters every day, and never to be intermitted, unless by some overruling necessity.”

John Quincy Adams was wise in his perspective of reading the Word.  God gave us His Word for us, for our sake, but He doesn’t make anyone read it.  But if you will read it, consistently, its beauty and hope will be what warms your heart on those days that the spiritual temperature is a high of 12 degrees.  Let God remind you that you are His, that He never forgets his own—that the sun-shiney days will come again.  That these heartbreaking things are not forever, for those who belong to Him.

He  tells us in John 14:1 “Do not let your hearts be troubled.  Trust in God; trust also in me.”

In John 14:27 he says, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

I know that things happen in this life that can be overwhelming!

We see these storms on the horizon.  We see the waves of circumstance that look like they will surely consume us.

I remember being out in the ocean as a child.  I was standing in water (comfortably) up to my chest, but then a little ways out I could see a wave forming, and it got bigger and bigger.  I was starting to panic inside, so I ducked under the water where it is calm and quiet. I knew that the waves were breaking all around me up top, but they couldn’t get to me under the surface. This is what God’s Word will do for your soul.  The waves of life will come!  They will get bigger and bigger until you’re sure you will be overtaken, BUT you can duck under, into His Word.  It will be a quiet and calm place for your soul;  even though the storms of this life rage on.

When you feel like February is all there is or will ever be, let Jesus remind you again.  Let his Word unthaw your heart.  I leave you with Christ’s words.

John 16:33

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world.”

Now, here it is the last day of March!  You see?  Nothing stays the same!  I want to learn to enjoy every season, don’t you?  Don’t the hard times make the easy times so much sweeter?  Doesn’t the icy, cold winter make the spring so much more beautiful? Today I will drink up what today is.  We only get to live this day once, no refunds!

Thank you for taking time to stop by The Modern Mayflower!  I am trying to build my reader base and appreciate so much all the people who have shared my blog!  Would you be willing to pass it along on YOUR social media outlets? 

ENJOY THE SUN-SHINEY DAYS!!

Wanna Be Free? (Me too!)

I opened my Bible this morning, looking for Proverbs chapter 12. I actually opened up to Proverbs 23 instead. Now, this is my BIBLE. You know my Bible, Bible. I have many Bibles, as most people do, but this one is special.  This is my thick and thin Bible. This is the one that has been my continuous companion. I bought this Bible shortly after being immersed in the waters of baptism, and now I strive to be daily immersed in its words.

At heart I’m a word nerd (or scholar) depending on how you view it. I enjoy looking up definitions for a deeper understanding of what is being read and communicated.

If you’ve been a Christian long, chances are you’ve heard that word, immersed, more than once.  It doesn’t seem to come up too often in casual conversation though 

So, without further adieu:

Immerse (v.)

1. Dip or submerge in a liquid
2. Involve oneself deeply in a particular activity or interest

Synonyms: absorb in, engross in, occupy by/with, involve in and my personal favorite-lose oneself in!

Get it? See why I want to immerse myself DAILY in God’s Word? I want to lose myself in it!

Back to Proverbs….When I flipped open to Proverbs 23 the first thing that caught my eye was the upside down postal stamp stuck (forever) upside down, right in the middle of the page.

Just like a domino, this stamp triggered many thoughts. My mind’s eye immediately transported me to the moment that stamp took up its permanent residence in my Bible.

You see, I've got this little boy, so clever and cute, but also so very impulsive.

One morning I was sitting at the kitchen table reading my Bible and this little one (about 2 or 3 years old at the time) toddled in. He sat down beside me, quietly, for about 10 whole seconds. Then the fidgeting began. I was reading, he was touching everything on the table and asking 100 rapid fired questions.

He saw a book of stamps.

He picked one off.

He perfectly placed it upside down right in the middle of the page I was reading, you know, in my Bible.

My Bible, Bible.

I got upset.

“Why did you do that?” I demanded.

“These pages are thin; it will rip if I try to pull it off!”

“That is going to be stuck there now, for good!””

Of course his little lip came out and he said, “I’m sorry, Mommy.”

I can see that face perfectly even now.

Do you know what that upside down postage stamp happens to say? It says: “Freedom.”

It was a “forever” stamp that reads “Freedom.”

The Forever Stamps were created by the US Postal Service in ’07. They are non-denominational First Class postage, which means that they can be used to mail anything at anytime for the rate that was paid when they were bought. The price can’t go up. Hence the name, Forever Stamp.

I was initially upset by the impulsiveness and immaturity that caused that stamp to be forever stuck right in the middle of my Bible, but that has changed.

“I am no longer upset, I am thankful.”

He placed a profound reminder right in the middle of God’s words to me.

It is so symbolic of what Christ did for us on the cross. That stamp that reads Freedom in my Bible is upside down, and rightly so. Just like it IS upside down that Jesus should die for me, for you. That the only ONE who is perfect would forfeit His life for all that are imperfect.

Our freedoms are under attack and we should stand up and fight to protect them,  but there is one freedom that is unchanging!

It is unaffected by legislature.

NO amount of persecution that can take this freedom back.

It is bought.

It is done.

It is forever, for those who choose it.

That “forever” stamp is not really going to last FOREVER!   Nothing in this world lasts forever. I don’t think we can even fully comprehend what “forever” is, at least I know I can’t. But there is ONE who is not of this world that does. He is forever. The beginning and end.

Isaiah 40:8 reads, the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God endures forever.

1 Chronicles 16:34 says Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.

Do we really understand the freedom we have been given? Are we living like free people? Do you (like me) keep putting yourself back into the slavery of Enough. Sweet friend, you are never going to be able to do enough, be enough. Never able to take care of everything and everyone!  So why do we wear ourselves to a frazzle trying?

Our freedom has already been paid for with the blood of Christ. The rate will not go up with the changing times of the world. The price was paid once and is good forever after.

Do we realize what this means? This is real freedom!

Freedom from myself!  

Freedom from my fears of what life will bring.

 Freedom from anxiousness about how my children will grow up. 

Freedom from teaching them EVERYTHING they need to know, which is not even possible.

Freedom from the fear of death.

 Freedom from the broken and suffering world we live in.

                                                          Freedom from doing enough, being enough. 

That little postage stamp reminder, left there by that precious little child, Carter, is so telling of what the Bible imparts: Freedom!

Even though those forever stamps are still valid, if I went back to the post office today and bought another book, they would cost more!  There was a stamp price increase since then. Isn’t’ that the way the world works?!  Always demanding more.   More money, more education, more production, more achievement, more, more, more! Until we feel like we have absolutely NO MORE to give!

Do not let the world lie to you. I am never going to be enough, and neither are you.   We don’t have to be enough!  We just have to keep going to the One who is. He does not raise the price for His freedom. It really is a Forever deal!

My anger has transitioned to thankfulness for Carter’s little token. I almost weep when I see it. The little boy will grow into a man, God willing. He will no longer do whatever impulsive thing that enters his mind. I will cherish the sweet reminder that his small hand has left for his mama.

Every time I open to the book of Proverbs I will thank God for that little hand that was placed in my care. But most importantly, I will treasure the truths that lie in that one, perfectly placed, upside down, postage stamp.

Freedom!

I am free in Christ.

You are free in Christ!

It is upside down and out of place in my human and narrow mind that He should care for me, let alone die for me, but that is exactly the case! We have nothing to fear. There is nothing big enough or scary enough to take that freedom.

Lord, let me today (and everyday) be thankful for the Freedom you bought for me. Remind me, again,  that the battle is already won. All I have to do is stand on Your Word.

Freedom never comes free, except in the case of your love and mercy. Free for me, not for you.

2 Corinthians 3:17

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

Galatians 5:1

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

Galatians 5:13

You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge in the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.

View fullsize

He’s our Carter!

Thank you for stopping by The Modern Mayflower!  If this post was an encouragement to you, PLEASE SHARE IT!

Friend or Foe?

I heard a song on the radio the other day. It wasn’t the first time I have ever heard it. In fact I’ve heard it many times; but this time the words resonated deeper than the surface layers. It struck a chord in my mind and my heart. That’s when exciting things start to happen—when it goes from your head to your heart. I remind myself (and my children, just ask them) of this often.

Knowledge is good, no doubt. There used to be this catchy education logo “Knowledge is Power.” I can see what they were trying to do with that BUT knowledge will never be enough if you lack the wisdom to apply it. I have known a lot of knowledgeable people, much more intelligent than myself, but they have missed the boat. They have knowledge.  They lack wisdom! Wisdom is knowledge applied. Application in real life ways. Taking what you know from your head to your heart. Naturally, what is in your head and your heart is going to find an outlet, your mouth! This brings me back to the song. You may have heard it yourselves.

“Words” by Hawk Nelson

They’ve made me feel like a prisoner

They’ve made me feel set free

They’ve made me feel like a criminal

Made me feel like a king

They’ve lifted my heart

To places I’d never been

And they’ve dragged me down again

Back to where I began

Words can build you up

Words can break you down

Start a fire in your heart or

Put it out

Let my words be life

Let my words be truth

I don’t wanna say a word

Unless it points the world back to you

You can heal the heartache

Speak over the fear

God, Your voice is the only thing

We need to hear

Let the words I say

Be the sound of your grace

I don’t wanna say a word

Unless it points the world back to you

I wanna speak your love

Not just another noise

Oh, I wanna be your light

I wanna be your voice

This is beautiful in so many ways.  Most of us spend the majority of our days with other people. People we know, people we love. How do we communicate?  Words, of course. I find myself saying things like this in our home.

“How we treat each other matters.” (Because it does!)

“It’s usually better to be nice than to be right.”

“Speak love.”

“Are you speaking peace?”

“Are you about to build someone up?”

I’m sure you all are hearing and saying some of these same things in your homes too.

We use A LOT of words in just one day.

I was curious just how many words are coming out of MY MOUTH any given day. Google (you know Google is always right, right?) claims on average women speak 20,000 words a day (men weighed in at only 7,000 words, not shocking data;)) 20,000 words?!  In one day!! That is a whole bunch of chances to build others up or tear them down.

I want to speak His voice; not just another noise with all those words!

I know this is going to be astonishing to some of you (sarcasm), but I don’t always follow my own advice.

I want to!

I try to!

The problem is I have this nagging enemy that shadows my every move, my thoughts even. I unaffectionately call her, SELF.  UGH…. My carnal, sinful self is always right there with me. This self that longs to have control of my words and actions. Self that feels justified  when I don’t speak peace, but irritation. Disappointing Self that instead of imparting love with these many spoken words, imparts the language of annoyance and imposition.

The Apostle Paul addresses this in Romans 7:18

“I know that nothing good lives in me, that is in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.”

— Romans 7:18

He continues in Romans 7:21

“So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me.”

— Romans 7:21

I feel this same war raging in me, don’t you?

I hear this woman; everyone in my house hears and sees her too. She is short, irritated, annoyed and dismayed. I despise her voice and her ways.

But there is this other lady, too. She is gentle, patient and kind. She forces herself to slow down, to look in people’s eyes when they are speaking, and to really hear what they are saying. She speaks love and peace.

Now,  I wish I could  say that she is my constant companion, but I have lived long enough in this body to know that she is not the only one there. I must be on guard, or mySELF, my petty, tired, irritated, and sometimes overwhelmed self,  will squash her gentle and quiet voice.

I know these things. I have the knowledge. The real deal is applying what I know in my mind to my words and actions. That is the wisdom I desire. That is the transformation from head to heart.

God gave us mouths to speak, and words to use.

“Words are powerful, they matter”

If we sincerely want to use our words to be life and truth—to heal the heartache–to speak over the fear, then we must read His words to teach us how.

These bodies and minds are amazing but they are nothing compared to the mind and ways of our God. I challenge you (and me) with these words from the book of James.

James 3:5-6

Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

But don’t despair! He goes on to offer hope, because our God is in the business of hope!

James 3:17-18

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.

Lord, Let me be a woman of carefully chosen words!

Wouldn’t  our world look a lot different if we all chose our words with care?  It’s exciting to think about!

Sharing is Caring   Please share!

Ain’t Nobody Can Save Me…

I have had this growing spark in my gut.  I don’t know when it exactly started. I have loved the Lord for a long time; I have also tried to love His people. Loving people exactly like me isn’t that difficult of a task. I’ve begun to really ask myself “What about everyone else?”  What about the desperately hopeless and broken people? We are commanded to share the gospel with these people. What about the ones who are screaming mess and destruction? They are made of hard times, poor choices, and lots of consequences. It’s not quite so easy to love those dirty and visibly stained people, is it?

I met a man on the streets of Jackson, Mississippi.  We met quite accidentally. I was there, (along with my dear friend and our children) to pray outside of the last abortion “clinic” in that state. That day has been burned into my mind, but mostly my soul. I could write pages about standing in the darkness that enveloped that pink building of death, perhaps another time I will.

We were looking for missionary opportunities to serve, with the children, as we were visiting our friends in neighboring Brandon, Ms. Everyone likes to take their children to the ghetto on vacation, right? I didn't know what to expect taking the children into Jackson, outside of an abortion mill of all places. How can you anticipate what a day of standing on the street pleading for the unborn and the pitiful mothers going inside will look like? You cannot. I don’t think it could ever look exactly the same way twice.

As it was, we had just left the sidewalk of the clinic and were walking back to the van. There was another man, a young man, Keith, who was there that day (and many other days before) Keith was praying, pleading, and street preaching. As we were leaving we caught up with him on the street, but he wasn't alone.  Keith was talking with another man– a homeless, strung-out-looking man.  A man carrying everything he owned in a not –even- close- to full Kroger bag.

This is where an interesting conversation took place.  It has stuck with me these many months later; caused me to recall that day again and again.  This homeless man, Mark, was speaking to the young man I mentioned. They knew each other.  They had spoken before on the streets of Jackson.

Mark was immediately likeable–soft, gentle and southern in speech. I don’t know how long he has been living on the streets, but I’m guessing quite some time. We struck up a conversation.

You see, you would think what in the world could we have in common–Mark and me? He, alone, a homeless drug addict with all his worldly possessions in a grocery sack, living on the streets of Mississippi; and I, a married, homeschooling, suburban driving, comfy living mama from Indiana. I can tell you exactly what we have in common. Humanity. We both live in the same great big, messed up world.

My friend who was with me told Mark that my dad (who came to live with us at one time) had also been homeless. (A story for a different day).

Mark couldn’t believe that I was old enough to have a child as grown as Cole. I’m sure he doesn’t spend a lot of time with ladies who have had life quite as easy as I have. I don’t say that braggingly. I just realize my life has been easy, comparatively, and I am grateful.  Believe me I am not looking unusually youthful these days;)  Whatever the reason; I had Mark’s attention. You see Mark was upset with the young man, Keith ( the street preaching, baby advocate.) Mark said, “I confided stuff in him, and he told his preacher, and I was getting money from that preacher.” So I asked him, “Well, what were you doing with that preacher’s money?” Do you think Mark lied? No, he didn’t. He said, “Yeah, yeah I know.” Mark didn’t try to justify what he was doing. He didn’t try to pretend he wasn’t manipulating people for money to support his drug and/or alcohol problems.

We went on talking for a while. Keith was trying to help him; he had a guy willing to take Mark in, give him a safe place to live, probably help him find a job. The problem was, Mark wouldn’t go. He didn’t want to go where he didn’t know anyone. He didn’t want to go where he would be held accountable for his actions. He would rather sleep on the streets.   Mark and I went on talking. He said, “You wouldn’t believe the stuff that’s happened to me on these streets. I’ve been beat, stabbed, shot…..You wouldn’t believe the things I’ve seen on these streets.” He didn’t say any of this loudly or even dramatically; just matter-of-factly. That is the world Mark lives in, by choice even. I said, “Mark, have you ever considered the reason you survived all of these crazy things you’re talking about? Do you think God, in His mercy, has spared you, hoping that you will turn your life to him? You are not dead, yet. You still have time to choose Christ.” This is when he said something that was profound to me. You see Mark has heard the gospel. He has had opportunities to turn away from the life he lives. He even knows there is a better way to live life. The problem is his flesh. He will not deny what his flesh wants. His flesh wants to do drugs. His flesh wants the carnal satisfaction that comes with it. I do not underestimate the hold of addiction, nor do I pretend to understand that demon first hand. I do, however, understand the battle of the flesh and the sinful nature of man (and woman of course)   This is is what Mark said to me. “Ain’t nobody can save me, but me. I gotta want it, in my heart. No preacher can do it for me. Ain’t nobody can do it, but me.” Oh, how accidently deep a statement that is, and oh so true. How much I wanted to save Mark’s soul right there on the sidewalk in downtown Jackson, Mississippi! How many times, including today, I have prayed for Mark to understand who Christ really is and have the strength to choose Him.

But, the truth remains. I cannot save Mark, or anyone else for that matter. He has to choose it.

The bottom line is simple: Jesus died, for all of us; but not all of us are going to accept the gift He is offering. Just the same, whether we choose it or not, He died.

We are all slaves to our own selfish flesh, Christians and non-Christians alike. The only thing that will control that struggle is the living Spirit of God. God is not going to force me, or anyone else to choose Him. That’s not the way He works. He does not send us to hell; we send ourselves with our sins and choice not to accept His grace. He created a way for EVERYONE to be saved from the condemnation that is coming.

We think living a lifestyle of drugs/alcoholism/homelessness leads to undesirable consequences?   We have not even begun to understand undesirable consequences!

I should be broken hearted for the lost! I should be grieved and pleading for their souls. If people I love are going to go to hell it should be with my arms wrapped around their legs begging them to choose Christ until the second they leave. I should care about my friend, Mark. My soul is not worth more than his because I have clean clothes, nice shoes and an SUV. None of those things amount to a hill of beans in the Kingdom of Christ. Mark’s soul was purchased for the exact same price as mine; and shame on me for forgetting to care!

I know that I cannot save people in my own strength. I am so very weak, but that doesn’t mean I should stop trying. Why am I living at all if not to love people and point them to hope and life in Christ?!

I bet Mark could tell us a thing or two about what this world has to offer from the view he has. This world does not have the answers. It is my duty (and my desire) to love every Mark that I meet. I want to care for the souls of everyone who crosses my path. I want to sound the alarm; regardless of the reaction. The watch guard’s job is to sound the alarm. If we sound it and the people to do not respond, their blood is not on our hands. But, oh, what if we don’t sound it? How many chances have I already missed?! What keeps my mouth from speaking the warning?   What prevents the words of life, healing and hope from forming?

I want to see the opportunities to speak, and seize them. I need boldness and courage.

I will keep reading His Word and let Him make me brave again. I will keep praying for Mark. I will keep praying for the young man, Keith, who goes where so many won’t. Keith goes into the dark places. He is sounding the alarm. He is offering hope and peace and life, and sometimes, (a lot of times) people hate him for it.

Lord, put urgency in the hearts of the church to speak. Put urgency in my heart to speak! This world is dying, and fast. Look around. You don’t have to go to the ghetto in Jackson to see it. Step outside of your house.

Mark was right in a way when he said, ‘Ain’t nobody can save me but me.’ What Mark has failed to realize though is this. He has already been saved by the only one who could. If only he weren’t too poor, weak and blind to accept it.

Lord, give us eyes so we can see. Break our hearts for what breaks yours. Let us sound the alarm! Let us love the Marks.